


To Cure a Broken Heart | A Re:Zero Fanfiction

by ShadowSeraph



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Sex, wholesome sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25464196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowSeraph/pseuds/ShadowSeraph
Summary: Rem and Subaru decide to settle down in Kararagi (the country north of Lagunica), with the intention of living a happy life. But when Subaru dies, how does Rem feel? Emilia will find Rem as drama and romance start between not only the two, but multiple others!
Relationships: Emilia/Rem (Re:Zero), Felix Argyle | Ferris/Crusch Karsten, Frederica/Ram, Natsuki Subaru/Rem
Kudos: 14





	1. A Hollow Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first longterm fanfiction, and one of my first written works in general, so I'd appreciate any praise or constructive criticism!

\- Rem's Perspective -

I remember it like yesterday, the warmness I felt.

Laying his head in my lap, I slowly moved my fingers through his hair, smiling at him.

I wish I could still feel his hair. The hair of my hero. I backed against the wall as my knees collapsed, making me sink to the floor.

\-- Flashback --

It had only been a few days since my husband had left on a mission. The mission to kill the Bowel Hunter — Elsa Granheirt. I wasn't nervous at all since I know he's been training with Crusch in swordsmanship and Emilia in magic ever since we got together. 

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. "Mm?" _M-Maybe Subaru-Kun is home!_ I started blushing with a big smile as I skipped to the door. I opened it– but no one was there. "Huh?" I looked down to see a letter on the ground. The letter had a white, yellow-tinted color to it with a red official sticker keeping the back together. 

I opened it and pulled the letter out.

'We regret to inform you that Natsuki Subaru was killed in action.' I didn't care to read any other part of the letter. 

Suddenly, my knees collapsed as warm tears came streaming from my ocean blue eyes. "Subaru...please come back to me.." I couldn't feel a heartbeat in my chest. The heartbeat in mine was so quiet and the pain in my stomach was so great that I didn't feel anything was there.

"I'm sorry.." 

\-- Flashback End --

This was all a week ago. Just thinking about it made me feel upset, he was all I had left. 

I slowly got up and walked towards a room with a crib, and various baby toys on the floor. "I didn't know if it'd be a boy or girl, so I bought both.." 

I wanted nothing more than to give myself to him, we were going to have sex after he got back...

I couldn't stop thinking of all of this. Suddenly, I heard knocking at the door. _Oh no. I knew exactly what this was for._

I slowly opened the door to a tall man with long black hair reaching the bottom of his neck. His expression _screamed_ anger. "You're late, how _dare_ you keep your clients waiting..!" 

"S-Sorry, Sir..! I just took longer than normal getting ready." That was a lie, I was ready an hour ago. This person was the owner of a prostitution center. In Kararagi, Miss Anastasia allowed places like these, so poor people tend to use these as a last option to get money. I didn't want to lose this house..so this is all I had left. 

\-- Multiple Hours Later --

I've been doing this for a few days, but each time I felt more and more upset with myself. I was going to save myself for Subaru, but I feel he'd get mad at me if I lost this house, too… My knees feel weak.

I opened the door to be met with the snowy streets of Kararagi. The snow laid on the sidewalks in a thin layer. Though wintery breath escaped my mouth, I couldn't feel the cold air around me over the gaping hole left bare where my heart would be.

I couldn't cry, I just felt empty inside. I wish I could have been there for you, Subaru. I wish I could have helped you.

Suddenly my vision blurred and my knees collapsed, as the world faded to black

\-- Roswaal Manor --

I woke up with cold sweat running off of my face, as I saw a worried Emilia to my left.

"M-Miss Emilia.." Her worried face made me feel she was going to slap me.

"Rem.. Are you okay?! you collapsed in front of a p...prostitution center. What were you doing there?"

"I work there.." She realized my situation immediately. The news of Subaru was sent across his loved ones, and word of mouth to the royal candidates as well.

"Rem… you haven't responded to my letters in a few days, so after...Subaru...I was really worried about you. Ram and I had to come to get you." Her voice trailed off for me. I just started shaking, she could tell I was upset by my body language, but my eyes were just...empty.

"I'm sorry.." Those were the only words that could escape my mouth. "Shh... Don't say anything." She paused, "You'll be working as a maid here again, Rem." 

Those words felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. "I feel violated, Miss Emilia.." Short tears came from my eyes again as I shook more, and my voice more unsettled. "I wanted to save myself for him… and now that I was going there, I felt so...alone.." I sniffled.

She wrapped her arms around me. Even the smallest gestures from her were like the biggest acts of love to me, I was extremely grateful for her even worrying about me... 

"I'll never let you feel alone like that again, I'll keep you by my side from now on." I looked up at her with teary, but hopeful eyes. I hadn't felt this emotion in seemingly forever, to me.

I closed my eyes, "Thank you…"

\--- Morning ---

I woke up in my old room. Honestly, I was actually _excited_ to start working here. Though I did occasionally visit Emilia and Ram, it wasn't often because I was busy with Subaru.

I dressed in my maid outfit and left my room to see Ram waiting outside my room for me. "Sister…" She smiled, "Welcome back, Rem." I hugged her gently. She was surprised but was welcoming to it.

"I heard about what happened." We began slowly walking to the kitchen. "I'm sorry… it was selfish of me not replying to yours' and Miss Emilia's letter." 

She looked into my eyes, cracking a small smile, "I'm just glad you're okay now, Rem." I loved this nostalgic feeling, being able to talk to Ram again like this. It had been a while since seeing her in person, so seeing her now made me feel happy.

We arrived in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for everyone while having small talk.

I could tell she talked to Emilia extensively about me since she's not overwhelming me with questions about my safety. I hate myself even more for not talking to her earlier.

\--- Breakfast Time ---

Roswaal-sama and Miss Emilia sat themselves while Ram and I served them, and then made plates for ourselves. I sat across from Emilia, while Ram next to me, across from Roswaal.

Looking at Emilia, I could remember her gently embracing me, holding me last night. I could remember her soft, flowery smell, her soothing voice, even the way she pets me.

I hadn't felt love the way she gave since Subaru... Even her posture was elegant. Seeing her just made me want to serve her, and the way—

"Rem?"

Suddenly, I blinked my eyes and realized I had been staring at Emilia for what seemed like forever. "U-Uh.." My face went redder than it already was. Ram looked at me intently, observing my reaction quietly. 

"Is there something wrong with my face?" I immediately shook my head, "N-No.. I'm just.. glad you liked the food!" I gave an awkward smile, "Oh." She said. She smiled back at me, though it was more genuine.

Her smile made my heart start beating twice as fast. Was this because I just really appreciated her loving my cooking? Yes, that must be it. It couldn't be anything else, surely.

\- Evening -

I was in bed, though I couldn't go to sleep at all. All-day, whenever I did chores around the house, my heart immediately warmed up whenever Emilia told me to do something for her, or to help her, though that wasn't the case for anyone else. What is this feeling, why am I feeling like this? 

I hope this doesn't burden her. Did Ram notice this about me? I saw her look at me cautiously whenever I stared at Emilia for too long.. did something happen, I wonder? Is Emilia upset about something? I just couldn't get all of this out of my mind...

To act so nice to someone who had just been practically sexually tortured to escape debt, when everyone else held a blind eye… 

It's been on my mind all day, I'll have to figure out what this feeling is. It's preoccupied my thoughts, so I wasn't upset at all today unlike normal. I'll have to ask to spend time with her tomorrow...Yes, that's what I'll do!

My expression grew very confident as I happily smiled, dozing off to sleep.

\--- Crusch's Perspective ---

\-- Karsten Residence --

My back was up against a wall, my knees up to my chest, with my arms wrapping around them. I had been staring out the window for seemingly a while now. 

I had heard about what happened to Subaru-san… though that's upsetting in itself, what really upsets me to think about is Felix…

Is he okay? If he was, he should be back by now. I should have gone with him. I started shaking. "Emilia… I really need you right now.."

Those words, I'd never let anyone hear out loud, except Emilia. Those words were sacred to me. She was the only one I allowed to show my vulnerable side to..

I couldn't sleep. I began crying, "Felix...Emilia..someone.."

The lonely, bare hole in my heart grew.

  
  
  



	2. Desire and Question

\- Rem's Perspective -

\-- Afternoon, The Next Day --

Emilia and I walked out of the grocery store in the capital of Lagunica. I felt cheery ever since I woke up, thinking of how my day out with Emilia would go. Though I really wanted to spend more time with her...

There weren't many groceries we had, just enough for the next few days. "Thank you for coming with me," she said, turning her head to me. "Y-Yes.. it was very fun.." I gave her a nervous smile. My heart had just felt so warm around her today, especially because we were _alone._

We began walking together. It sounded like she wanted to get home, but I wanted nothing more than to go out to eat lunch with her. _Do I ask? What if she really doesn't want to? Gosh.. this is so selfish of me._

"U-Um.." I was trying to figure out the words to say this to her. Whenever I was around her, especially _today,_ I just felt so nervous because of my emotions towards her. Is this love?

"Hm?" She turned to me, "Oh, uh.. I was curious… if this isn't selfish.." I turned my head down, my face red, "Would you like to go.. eat lunch out together?"

She showed a small, soft smile. "I'd love to!" She opened her mouth like she was going to say more, but she closed it.

That alone was enough for me, I turned to her, going from my flushed face to a very ecstatic expression. She giggled.

\- Crusch's Perspective -

\-- Karsten Residence --

I hadn't moved around much today. As a candidate for Queen of Lagunica, was this okay? I've never had my feelings get the better of me, but when it came to Felix… I couldn't help it. 

I've been like this for the past few days, I haven't even contacted Emilia. Maybe I—

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. Who could that be? I didn't expect anyone. Though I know who I wish it was…

I opened the door and sure enough, it was him.

My eyes watered, I couldn't be happier. "Cruschie.." He immediately went up to me, hugging me, while crying softly. His crying distracted me from his various bandages around his body.

"I couldn't save him.. all I could do was escape.." He sniffled, "Ferri-chan actually grew close to him, on that mission together.." I looked into his eyes with sincerity, "You did your best, Felix." 

This moment felt like forever, my soft whispers into his ear in the doorway, deep down, it made me so happy that I could be there for him while he's hurting.

After he finished crying, he held my hand back to the edge of the bed, as we began talking. One of the words that came out from me was, "I'll go visit Emilia tomorrow."  
  


\- Rem's Perspective - 

\-- Local Restaurant -- 

Emilia and I sat down at a nice restaurant, ordering food.

At first, we were both quiet. _Did she feel pity for me, is that why she accepted going out with me?_ I couldn't stop giving in to these thoughts.

"So.. uh.. did anything new happen at the royal selection?" 

"I was eliminated from the selection." She said that plainly, it was as if I couldn't tell whether she was upset about it or not because her eyes seemed empty to me.

"I-I'm so sorry for bringing that up then... Miss Emilia." I felt bad bringing that up, I just really wanted to connect with her, I felt like I was failing. _I need to connect with her.. I can't let this date go to waste..!!_

"No, No. It's fine. I've already accepted it." I nodded, "If you say so." Our food came in and we started eating. I could tell by her eyes that she seemed… distant. Was something on her mind?

After about a minute of this silence, _she_ spoke, "You've seemed better after coming here, I'm so glad." She gave a weak smile. "Yeah..! You- I mean everyone here, in general, distracted me from feeling upset..thank you" I slightly bowed. _I didn't feel worthy of her hospitality.. but it made me feel so happy she gave it._

"No need for the formalities, I'm honestly glad you can feel at home again, here. We missed you." My heart suddenly started feeling very bright. I couldn't hold back my flushed, toothy smile.

I felt like I was finally getting somewhere on this date. This is hope. "Thank you.." 

\-- Road back to Roswaal Manor, Evening --

It was getting rather late, so we decided to go back home. But spending all day with _her,_ I felt special. Someone like me in her presence... I couldn't help but smile, forgetting all other worries, any problems or trauma I've faced, all of my surroundings, to just focus on her.

We were getting close to the manor, yet there was still so much I wanted to say to her.

"Ever since Subaru died–" I paused and she turned to me. I couldn't stop talking now that I started, I had to tell her how I felt.. these feelings were on my mind all day today and yesterday...

"–my heart felt broken. It was _empty._ Every day, I couldn't do anything but weep and sit there. And whenever I went to the p-prostitution center, I felt.. so lonely. I couldn't do _anything_ about what was going on… And then you came along... I know it hasn't been long since we reunited, but every day since we have, I've never once felt upset, because every time I would feel worried.. I just thought of you, and I could do nothing but smile." 

My expression grew warmer, and she completely stopped to listen to me, completely focusing on me. It sounded like she was going to say something, but I continued before she could speak.

"My heart finally feels warm again.. I actually look forward to each day, because whenever I talk to you, I don't feel lonely.."

I started stuttering, I felt a little nervous with saying all of this now, and so early too... but I couldn't help it. I had to get my feelings out to her. 

"Every time we talk.. your voice completely distracts me from my depression, and I can finally smile again.." I paused, "Rem…"

"Wh-What I'm trying to say is.. I love you, Emilia-chan." My genuine feelings came from my heart. 

"Rem...I.." She looked at me, troubled. I just smiled at her. A genuine smile. 

"I'm with Crusch...I love her.." 

It took me a few seconds to process those words, and when I did, I realized how genuinely selfish my words were. I troubled her this entire day and burdened her with my feelings. My heart began hurting.

"I'm sorry.." By her expression, I could tell she felt bad, she looked down. _I wasn't considerate enough..._

I gave a weak, fake smile, "It's okay, my bad for that." My words grew weak.

We walked back to the manor in silence, and I avoided Ram to go straight to my room. It looked like Ram really wanted to talk to me, but selfishly..I didn't care. Emilia must have had a lot on her mind, too. _Of course, I didn't care, I didn't even call Emilia by 'Miss' when telling her my feelings… I'm just a maid, how could she return those feelings to someone like me._

I closed the door to my room and turned out the lights, sitting on my bed facing the window.

Cold tears came from my eyes, words alone couldn't describe how my heart felt. 

"I'm sorry…" The tears came streaming from my eyes now, "I'm sorry...I'm just so selfish…" 

My door slowly opened, I turned to see it was Ram. "R-Rem..?" She saw my tears. It was out of character for her to seem so worried, and even sweating, but that's exactly how she felt, seeing me like this.

She sat on the bed with me, holding me, as I began crying loudly into her shoulder. Her expression was somber.

\--------------------------

Elsewhere, in a forest…

There laid bloodied bodies of various people with cult esc robes, all across the ground leading up to Elsa Granheirt, who smirked as she eyed her target.

"Oho~ So it seems you've killed all of my supporters in love.. how FASCINATING. My slothfulness has WAITED oh so MUCH for you..." Betelgeuse Rominee-Canti.

She smirked, "Oh, have you?" Betelgeuse's unseen hands began wildly racing around the area, as Elsa dodged them with ease. "Being praised by someone with the Authority of Sloth... I'm deeply touched."

Though normally they are unseen, Elsa had the ability to see them through killing Subaru and gaining his ability. 

His face tensed, as he put his hands over his head and frantically shook around, "This isn't right, it's all wrong! My Authority, the Authority of Sloth.. granted to me by my love~.." He began violently biting his fingers, "No others should be able to SEE IT. OHH, MY BRAIN TREMBLES~"

She laughed, "A goofy one you are, but.." She ran at lightning speed, dodging the now over 10 unseen hands, as she flipped from the air, stabbing his stomach with her dual short blades. "You shouldn't talk while fighting." His guts spilled as he died, screaming words that she no longer cared to hear. She licked the blood off of her fingers.

Her face filled with deep lust, as a glowing effect grew around her. "Ohh..~ The Authority of Sloth, was it..?" She smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone worrying...Yes, I will focus on Emilia's thoughts more, too!! I haven't forgotten that she's human too, don't worry -laughs-


	3. Crack

\- Emilia's Perspective -

\-- Next Day, Early Morning--

My eyes slowly opened to the rain-filled, stormy weather out the window, akin to how I felt yesterday, rather, I _still_ feel. The upper half of my body stood upright, my long, silver hair falling from my right shoulder. My lower lip quivered as I remembered yesterday. Oh, _yesterday._ All of the thoughts I had yesterday, running through my mind each passing moment, even while Rem and I ate lunch together. I began shaking as my eyes became blurred. 

"Subaru.," I whispered. When he acted out at the royal selection, I felt frustrated. _He was the reason I couldn't become Queen_ , I kept telling myself.

But, I was wrong. Even during the second royal selection meeting, I regretted not going to help him while he was fighting Elsa. Because of me, he's dead... And my efforts in the second meeting to become Queen were for naught anyway… 

"Everything I do... I can't save anyone.." I laid back down, my back facing the door. Warm tears came erupting from my gentle, violet eyes. I bit my lip.

"I can't save anyone.." My voice stuttered. I thought back to Crusch. Last we talked, she said she needed time for herself for a few days. But each day, I missed her more and more. The confident, strong-willed, future Queen of Lagunica. My Queen.

She worried _so_ much about Felix, I hadn't even visited her to comfort her.. and it wasn't even announced that Felix returned safely, either… "What's wrong with me.."

She was _writhing_ in pain, and all I was doing was upsetting Rem. I couldn't even become Queen to save anyone as I had hoped...

I softly cried into my pillow. My hands shook as my chest felt empty. Where my heart would be, I felt nothing, and the loneliness itself hurt...so much... "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

\-- Lunch Time --

Light gleamed through the window as I set my pen down, gazing at it. 

Nothing much had happened yet so far. Ram and Rem had been taking a break from cleaning to talk amongst themselves, _Ram was probably trying to make Rem feel better if I had to guess._ I was writing how I felt in my diary, _which admittedly, made me feel much better and my mind clearer,_ and Roswaal was god knows where.

Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door. Ram swiftly went to the door and opened it, "Greetings, Ram. Is Emilia here?" Ram nodded to Crusch, "I'll go get her." I bolted out of my room and I immediately hugged her. My arms wrapped around her body warmly, as she gave a soft smile and lightly hugged back, "I missed you…" I said softly, to her.

Ram showed a small, gentle smile towards us. As we finished hugging, I began speaking directly, "I take it Felix is back?" She nodded with a smile, "Why didn't you bring him? We could've had a play date." I giggled at the thought, I was more fooling around than anything.

"Mm, my intention in coming was more of wanting a one on one conversation with you."

I was a little surprised by the answer, to say the least, she could see it in my body language. I turned to Ram, "Could you set up a table on the second floor's balcony for us?"

Ram nodded, bowing. "Certainly, Miss Emilia."

\-- Balcony, Second Floor --

As Crusch and I approached the balcony, we noticed the small yet quaint table that laid right into the fenced area, near the border. Beams of sunlight glared off of Crusch's beautiful virescent hair, I couldn't help but lightly blush when seeing her, even just as small as an action as sitting down.

I sipped my tea lightly, fixated on Crusch's amber eyes. She could tell I was blushing; it was written all over my face. She giggled as I tensed up, "Wh-What?!" 

"You're blushing." I looked away, "M-Maybe I am.." Though I didn't see it, Crusch frowned. A lump in her throat formed.

We sipped our tea in silence, looking out at the beautiful scenery. I felt _much_ better than earlier.

She usually wasn't this quiet, I could tell something may still be wrong. Though I wanted to cheer her up– maybe I'm overthinking things, she's probably fine.

"Frederica should be coming back this evening."

"Oh, is she..?" I could tell for certain now that something was wrong. She was usually _far_ more talkative, could Felix be injured, is that why?

"What's wrong?" 

"Huh..?"

"You seem.. distant.. in thought. You don't seem like your usual self, Crusch."

Nervous sweat ran down her cheek, "You're right.. How did you realize?" I could tell she was trying to stall for time here, I went with it, though.

"Unusual silence, short reactions.." 

"..I…" She turned from looking over at the scenery, to directly into my eyes. Her eyes were rather somber, I felt a little sad inside seeing her feel like this, even though I didn't know what it was that is upsetting her.

"I know it's uncharacteristic of me to be upset, especially for _days_ , but I couldn't help it." She paused, hesitant on getting out what it is she wanted to say.

"I'm sorry, Emilia." 

"Why..?"

She looked down, "I love Felix." She tensed up, not looking forward to my reaction. I looked at her in disbelief, "Crusch…" She's breaking up with me…

She looked back up at me, with a hurt tone and expression.

I had a hard time accepting it.. she was so passionate, and even intimate at times with me before she took her break… I needed her now more than ever, and she's breaking up with me…?

"Was I not good enough..?"

"N-No! You were! I just… can't control my feelings at the moment… I'm sorry, Emilia.."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't help you...I was such a coward."

I looked down at my hands with hurt eyes, "It's not to worry about... I feel better." Crusch brushed the topic of her mental health aside to think of something to say to Emilia, when Crusch was abruptly interrupted before she could speak with my crude, stuttering voice.

"I'd like some time to myself.." Her eyes shortened, "Of course…"

She got up and left without saying anything to Ram.

I sat there for a few moments longer until I got up and went straight to my room, downstairs. I turned the light out and pushed my back against the wall, sliding down until my knees were up to my chin.

The door opened slightly, "D-Do you need comfort now, Miss Emilia..?" Ram's voice. I could tell she knew what had happened from Crusch's passing expression. "I..I'd like some time to myself." My voice shook, you could tell I was on the verge of tears. Ram somberly stood there speechless, as she closed the door shortly after.

Then, the tears came.

\-- Evening, Nobody's Perspective --

Roswaal had come back shortly before Frederica arrived. Though the red sky outside was warmly lit, the same couldn't be said for Rem, which Frederica had shortly picked up on.

She noticed Rem was in despair, so Frederica held her like a sweet child, petting her head. Frederica gave a warm, caring smile like that of a mother to her hurt daughter.

Ram looked away out of jealousy.

After fifteen long minutes of this, Frederica left the room, to Emilia's.

Emilia had completely forgotten about Frederica coming after she had been just sitting in her room, to herself. Emilia didn't say anything as Frederica approached her, and sat by her on the bedside.

Frederica's voice calmed to a soothing whisper, "Shh.. you don't have to say anything.. just listen to my voice..~" She buried her head above Frederica's chest as she held her. 

Emilia let out tears that she had held in for hours. After many long minutes of this, she calmed to an exhausted state, as Frederica laid her down, planted a kiss on her forehead, and quietly left.

Emilia drifted off to sleep with a small, weak smile.

\-- Meanwhile, at the Kararagi Country Throne Room --

The hallways of the large, luxurious building were stained with blood from the various guards, dead on the floors. The bloodied bodies led all the way to a woman clad with black silk leading from the sides of her breasts, to draping down from her waist. Purple fur lined the upper neck area of her cloth.

Elsa Granheirt. That name had been mentioned more and more, and now that she threatened his royal highness, Princess Anastasia of Kararagi, Ricardo Welkin, Leader of Anastasia's mercenary group 'Fang of Iron,' wouldn't have it.

Though the other members of the Fang of Iron and Julius, Anastasia's personal knight, had both already been brutally murdered by the hand of Elsa, Ricardo wouldn't let Elsa go an inch further towards the throne. Ricardo was sent into a rage, as he flung himself toward the wrathful woman.

His hatchet shaped greatsword swung wildly at Elsa, but to no avail. No matter how hard, how fast, how _much_ Ricardo wanted to slash her in half for what Elsa had done, all of his attacks were for naught.

She easily dodged every single slash gracefully, even with her injuries sustained from Julius. Not one even cut her cloth, as she backflipped over his head while lowering her arms in mid-air, cutting his head off with her two knife blades, gracefully landing in front of the body of Ricardo.

Now, no one was left in her path. "How does it feel, Princess Anastasia?" She licked the blood off of her mouth.

She staggered in fear as she attempted to run and jump out of the window, hoping for a citizen to catch her.

"Good attempt, but…" A single unseen hand pierced a hole through the royal's chest. Elsa usually preferred killing her victims slowly with pleasure, but Elsa grew bored with the people in Kararagi.

She smirked, leaving a note on the throne.

She came in like a thunderclap and escaped swiftly into the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed it, I would really appreciate any comment you leave on this chapter. Thank you so much for reading! I'll try my best to post more soon.


	4. Love in the Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say I'm really sorry for there being a gap between last chapter and this one!! I just burned myself out with posting them so closely together, so I'll try to pace myself without rushing out chapters. I hope you enjoy it!!

\- Rem’s Perspective -

\-- Next Morning, Breakfast --

Though everyone at the Roswaal manor typically did all eat breakfast together, we hadn’t done so in the past few days due to Roswaal being out, and _I’d just feel upset around Emilia._ This time was different, however. With Roswaal at the end of the table, I sat to the left of Frederica who seated herself diagonal of Ram, and Ram to the right of Emilia, who sat between Roswaal and Ram.

Ever since Frederica had come home last night, she comforted me and tried distracting me from Emilia. It worked sometimes, but not all the time.

I lightly blushed, even just looking at Emilia. I'm not as upset as I was, because I thought to myself, _maybe I was rushing things._ Emilia and I.. could maybe grow closer at a slower pace, and eventually, get there… I smiled just thinking about it.

"I didn't want to startle you all, but.." Roswaal's normal sarcastic and humorous demeanor immediately dropped as he spoke, "Kararagi Capital has been attacked, and Anastasia dead."

The room suddenly felt tense, Ram choked on the food going down her throat as Emilia blurted out, "What?!" 

Frederica said unnaturally calmly, "Who did this?"

"The Bowel Hunter— Elsa Granheirt."

"Then.. does that mean she is after the other royal candidates, as well?" Suddenly, Emilia shuddered in her seat. "It seems so. You all shouldn't go anywhere."

"Though, according to Reinhardt..she left a message behind mentioning her next attack against Priscilla."

That set an unsettling feeling down my chest, though, deep down, I wanted to kill her for what she did to Subaru and Felix.

\- Ram's Perspective -

\-- Afternoon --

My room's light was dim. Thinking of Frederica, I couldn't stop blushing. I know she was helping Emilia and Rem last night withholding them, but… I felt really jealous. 

She and I had been together for two years, tomorrow makes three. It really upset me when she left but I tried occupying myself. And now that she was finally back, right now.. I really wanted her all to myself.

Frederica suddenly came through the door, closing it behind her, to be met with me in only a lingerie, the covers of _our_ bed blocking some of the view.

I only looked into her eyes, as she looked into mine. We shared flustered faces and smiles. We stared at each other like this for what seemed like forever, until she suddenly undressed herself besides her lingerie in front of me.

"Ram…"

"Frederica…"

I uncovered myself and blushed twice as much as I was. "H-Hurry up into bed.."

She giggled, "Don't be embarrassed, I quite like your body~"

Now my face was red, "F-Frederica..!!" 

"Aha... I'm coming, I'm coming." She said in an amused voice.

As she got into bed with me, I pushed myself back so we were on our sides, staring into each other's eyes. Her emerald green eyes sparkled whenever in the sunlight, and even in the dark, they illuminated my world.

When I was younger and had lost my horn, I struggled to catch up with my sister. And even when I seemingly got better and better at things like cleaning, making food, and magic, Rem always was one step ahead of me. I felt so discouraged I wanted to give up on myself, but when Frederica showed up in my life, that all changed.

She loved me for who I was, and always encouraged me to try harder, so I finally caught up to my sister. Whenever I was hurt, she made me feel so loved, that the world around me disappeared.

She was always insecure about her teeth, but quite honestly– I loved them. They were unique to _her_ , and no one else.

Many warm emotions surrounded my heart in my chest, as I began softly crying. "Why're you crying..?"

"You're so beautiful…" She lightly smiled at me, as she wiped the tears from my cheeks. 

"I love you…" I said, sincerely to her. "I love you too, Ram…"

\- Crusch's Perspective -

\-- Late Evening --

It's been a long day. I had been in a meeting with Reinhardt, Wilhelm, Felix, Priscilla, and Aldebaran about the recent incidents with the Bowel Hunter, though Felix went ahead of me.

I opened the door to our room to be met with Felix's gaze. I lightly smiled, "Welcome back."

I went to the bathroom and undressed into my nightgown, and walked back to him, climbing in the bed and dimming the light, staring at him.

He was turned over, though he turned over to me finally after a long few seconds. "Crunchie?"

His upset expression urged me to answer, "Yes?"

"I hate myself…" He paused, his somber expression grew to tears, "No matter what Ferri-chan does, I'm so unhappy in this body.. some days I get so happy dressing masculinely, but others.. when I feel more feminine, since everyone uses male pronouns for me no matter what clothes I wear… I get so upset.."

He paused, sniffling, "And I heard Emilia was really upset, now that she's alone… you deserve a girl who's more confident and happy like her…"

"Felix… I broke up with her because I love you. I love you for _you._ And if others misgender you when you're feeling more feminine rather than masculine at times, then I'll simply correct them! You don't have to change yourself to make others happy. If others aren't happy because you're just trying to be yourself, then fuck em'! I love you for you, anyway."

"Really..?"

"Of course, Felix. I'd never lie to you."

"Wh..What about Emilia-chan?"

"She'll find someone who she loves even more than she did me, I promise you."

"I'm still so worried about her.."

I gave a slight, amused smile. "You have a kind heart, Felix. We can go check up on her tomorrow."

"Okay…" He wiped his tears and I turned the light off, as I wrapped my arms around _her_ into a hug. She blushed, accepting my embrace and getting closer, as we fell asleep like this.

\- No one's Perspective -

\-- Front Yard of Roswaal Manor --

The darkness of now night made the quietness eery. A woman clad in dark cloth, with shadow beast fur at the neck approached the Roswaal mansion, smirking as her tongue traveled around her mouth.

"This'll be fun~"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed that chapter!! Let me know how you felt about it by leaving a comment! I'll post another chapter within the next few days or whenever I feel like it. Thanks for reading!


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